Orange was the color of the enemy flag, of hatred and distaste and memories of a dozen hundred thousand fallen soldiers on countless island battlefields, and it was, too, the thousand different languages of fire and sweet mangoes and a fox lunging on prey with bared teeth simply for the sake of survival, and more than that, more than that –
It was just a color.
___
Lily was used to waking up well before Declan when they were granted leave, though she couldn’t help but scowl at his closed cabin door as she shoved on her boots and exited her own quarters, sure as she was that Wells and the other soldiers would, too, remain fast asleep even as the sun shone bright outside the windows she walked by.
Their fleet was stationed temporarily in the Northern Circle, a ring of frigid islands infamous for their position at the very top longitude either human or ship could safely reach. Only a couple hundred miles above them, the Wasteland – skin-freezing temperatures and treacherously unpredictable icebergs crawling around a massive sheet of ice that technically qualified as the Globe’s largest island, though Lily felt a land devoid of life or governance shouldn’t qualify for the title.
Nor did she consider the Northern Circle anything remotely close to an appropriate location to station soldiers on leave – but these were the only islands under Mage control spared from the fighting, and so had been taken up as the Empire’s primary location for medical bases and rest zones.
Pacing gloomily towards the mess, resigned to eating breakfast alone, Lily jumped as a familiar voice echoed from behind her – “First one up as usual, I see!”
Turning around, Lily beamed, dour mood wiped away in an instant. “General!”
General Samuel Mercer – Declan’s old General, the man he’d been commissioned to after first joining the war as a commander, by Mage custom. They’d spent five years fighting together before Declan was promoted to his own fleet. She was constantly regaled with tales of their escapades – they were a match well-paired by First Headquarters, earning an unprecedented record of captured islands. It was General Samuel who taught Declan to hone his power at healing, the duo considered legends for their skill in the art.
There was a time, when Lily was first stationed with Declan, that she saw her lack of such talent in healing as a curse, a mark of her unworthiness to learn from him, and it was Samuel she’d confessed this to, in a fit of despair after failing to heal Declan’s wounds on the field in one of her first battles, leaving him unconscious. A day had passed before Samuel frantically raced into Declan’s ward, stopping short at the sight of her sobbing beside him.
Samuel, Lily later learned, at that time had absolutely no idea that Declan had taken on a commander, no idea whatsoever who she was – and so, she still marvels to this day that he’d nonetheless taken her gently by the arm and brewed her a cup of pumpkin tea, citing it as “Declan’s favorite,” and stayed with her until she’d calmed down and explained what was wrong. When Declan woke up, three days later, to the two of them sitting anxiously together beside his bed, he’d said between laughter – “I knew the two of you would get along.”
“When did you get here?” She happily asked him now, skipping forward to greet him.
“Two hours ago.” He replied between yawns, walking with her into the sparsely populated mess. “All my men were asleep – I had to wake up the shuttle operator to drive me over here.”
“You weren’t feeling like a swim?” She giggled, earning an amused snort.
They walked quietly for a few moments towards their usual table in the corner, before Lily, surprising herself, blurted: “I’m really glad you’re here.”
And perhaps it was the product of five weeks of stomach-churning waves and gloomy downpour and countless islands rendered indistinguishable from the ashes and bloodshed of a cruel war, the constant flashes of orange banners waved by the enemy before their slaughter of soldiers under her protection, but with all the relentless noise and orange and noise that seemed to suffocate her at every turn, she was really, truly, desperately grateful that he was here. And any awkwardness she might have felt for voicing this was soon obliterated as they launched into conversation, talking of Declan’s misadventures and books they were enjoying and all number of mundane things, pretending for a moment that the war didn’t exist; that this might not be the last time they ever saw each other.
___
Declan and the men remained asleep an hour later, so Lily happily agreed to accompany General Samuel back to his flagship. She had been there a few times – usually with Declan, and always in an extreme hurry, rushing to replenish weapons or supplies. This time, she could take notice of little things she’d never seen before, small ways Samuel left his mark on the ship – little plants glued down on windowsills, pieces of artwork from home. She was aware that some Mage Generals elected to personalize their ships, but Declan had never been one for material nostalgia. Not for the first time, she wondered what it was like for him – growing up on this ship for five years, having Samuel as his General.
Following the General into his quarters, she watched him pull back fabric blinds to expose the shining sun beyond, glittering endlessly across icy sheets containing the metal docks their fleets were bound to. Lily walked to the windows, and stared at the crystalline beauty before her – it was, she grudgingly admitted, equally as gorgeous as it was cold and miserable.
After a few minutes of contented silence, she heard General Samuel approaching from the small cabin kitchen, handing Lily a steaming cup of pumpkin tea. Lily took it with both hands, smiling at the warmth and sweetness of the first sip. They watched, together, as rays of orange light began creeping around either side of the sun – sundogs, she remembered Wells telling her they were called, urging her to watch out for them when they reached this frigid climate, where ice crystals in the air made sunshine refract and stretch, as though the sun were multiplying itself.
“General.” She said, and he hummed in response. “Can you tell me what you think about something?”
“Of course.”
___
“I like to think that when we die, the essence of ourselves – our memories, our magic, our soul – will become part of something greater,” General Samuel explained. “We could each of us end up part of a supernova, a planet, a constellation.”
“Or one of your houseplants.” Lily suggested with a grin, and the General chuckled.
“It’s nice to see Declan’s sarcasm isn’t wasted on you,” he offered, sitting down beside her on the couch, “but you’re right. I think the place we go in the end, wherever that is, may very well be completely out of our control. But that certainly doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to prove ourselves supernova-worthy, while we remain in this realm.”
Lily absentmindedly fiddled with her teabag, thinking. “There’s a reason,” she said eventually, “For why we have this power no one else does. I have to believe that there’s a reason for all of this, the West, the Empire, the war. There must be.” She stared down at the mug in her hands. Wisps of green glowed and dispelled as soon as they appeared, contrasting sharply with the bright orange dregs of tea. “I don’t know what’ll happen when I die, but I wouldn’t mind being part of the sun. And while I’m still alive, I’d like to try and find out that reason.”
General Samuel stood back up, reached out to take her mug, and said quietly, “Me, too.”
Another hour later, Declan arrived, bedraggled and rubbing sleep from his eyes and furious that they’d drank all of his beloved tea.
___
Orange was the color of affection, Lily decided – not the unquestionable love that staunchly declared itself in her and Declan’s roaring laughter, in the soldiers’ crushing hugs – but something different.
Orange was quieter, intricately subtle – the peace of simply being together in those rare, treasured breaks in fighting. The glimmer of Declans’s favorite pumpkin tea, and the hum of gentle teasing, and the words of a thoughtful discussion, and the knowing it could all end in a moment, and the not minding of that.
Lily wanted to see it more often in her life.